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1)       Change Diapers

While this seems like a no brainer to some dads there are plenty of men out there that still refuse to change a diaper and place that burden on their wife.  Well this can be a tremendous opportunity to let you child know that you can take care of them and a time to gain their confidence.  While that may seem like a deep concept for a 6 month old, it’s all about roles.

Roles of the father and mother are defined at every juncture in the developmental process.  Your role as a care taker and someone your child can count on are directly related to your interaction at these early stages.  After all do you want you child saying “Dad never changed a diaper” when she is 12?  What do you think that your daughter thinks in her own mind when she says that?  Maybe dad didn’t care enough about me to change my diaper.

2)       Do Bath Time

For my first two kids my wife stayed home during the day and worked at night so we split up the work load where she did the mornings, and I did the evening routines.  This allowed me to get up and get to work early so I could do needed overtime, and allowed me to get out of work on time to get the kids from daycare, or get the baton passed off by my wife.

While this at times was exhausting it gave my wife an opportunity to get out of the house and keep her sanity as well as gave me the opportunity to expand that role of caregiver to my kids.  It was time where we made dinner together, or went for walks, or just sat around and watched TV.  It was “dad time” and the kids enjoyed it.

Bath time was also part of this and we had a blast.  Bubbles, toys, and play time we made it, even though washing the hair sometimes turned into my kids screaming at the top of their lungs.  They hated to get their hair washed.  But bath time is another key role the dad can do to be closer to his kids, and give his wife the opportunity to do their chores or get some free time to herself.

3)       Wake up with you child at night.  I’m writing this after a night being up at 11:30, at 2:00 and at 4:30.  Luckily I’m off work today and was able to sleep in until 8:00 but as a dad sometimes this is what you do.  Not only is this about your role as a caregiver it’s about keeping your wife happy.  If she is the only one getting up at night for the baby it won’t be long before your sleeping on the couch.  Share the load, and talk to your wife.  We have always been vocal about, “hey I have a two hour meeting today and need to be awake for it” or “I have to be on a job site all day”, whatever your situation it’s about sharing the workload.4)       Make your baby laughWhile there are multiple reasons for the baby’s development to make her laugh, this is purely a selfish aspect of fathering.  This is what makes all the late nights, the screaming fits, and the dirty diapers all worth it.  When you see that baby crack a smile and gleam into your eyes it reminds you of why you became a dad in the first place, besides the fun of trying.

This is something I wrote shortly after the passing of Johnny Cash.    

Cashed Out While He Still Had so Much to Share: I was maybe ten when my mother gave me a comic book about Johnny Cash from a Christian book store.  It reflected on a time in his life when he had taken the “wrong path” of drugs and drinking and how he eventually landed in jail.  It also reflected on how he pulled himself out of the shadows and back into the spotlight of family, music and forgiveness.  My mother probably doesn’t realize to this day how much that lesson followed me through my years, but it sank in deep into my psyche somewhere for later use.  It was a well spent 50 cents on her part. 

What she also doesn’t realize that this was one of my earliest introductions into the man himself.  Yes, I had heard the music but never seen the history before reading this 50 cent comic. They were the tunes I grew up.  I recall having my first car in high school and amongst the hair bands, the rap, and the punk music I always had the one cassette with his music that would find it’s way through the mess to my cassette player in my old Chevy. But it was about the music and not about the car.  I followed from a distance the man and his music.  The way he always could find humor in a lyric, a beat that was so infectious all you had to here was the first few notes and you knew it was him, or how no matter what generation you belonged to that Johnny Cash was cool.  He proved it again and again with song after song.  

I sat with my son, now 12 years old, on one occasion this year as we watched the latest and unfortunately the last of a chronicle in music, his “Hurt” video.  It saddened me to see the stark reality that he had become so fragile.  But there it was again the same life lesson that I had read almost thirty years ago.  I wondered if the lesson I had read had gotten to my son.  It amazed me how the man and his music continued to make an impact on my life.  My son now takes the lesson on with him, and I will take it on as well.  Perhaps one day I’ll be able to share the lesson with my grandkids through his music which we will have for generations. 

Thanks for the lesson. Copyright © 2006 Zoofive.com 

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